Pedestrian outrage: Shovel your f-ing sidewalk!

Several factors contributed to my fall last night.

I was dizzy and feeling sick. I've since spent more than my fair share of time in the bathroom and realize it's some stomach bugginess.

I was wearing sneakers, which may not have been entirely well-advised given the snow of recent days. And the important fact that several assholes in my neighborhood do not shovel their walks.

This is a big deal to me. I'm not an invalid. I run (I actually ran 1.5 miles just hours before I fell). I traverse sidewalks, paths, stairways, and anything Chicago can throw at me - without incident.

Last night was different. I felt dizzy and weak. I slipped on some icy-snowy-crap and fell on my face, scraping my forehead and cutting my nose. Grrrrrrrrrr!

People don't usually fall on their faces - because it makes far more physiological sense to fall on your butt or your torso, bracing yourself with your arms and legs. Naturally it's hard to go from an upright position to almost the complete opposite - face on the floor.

I fell because of negligence! I am not calling for a lawsuit. No, no!

The City of Chicago should ticket and fine people who do not tend to their walks. These asshounds choose to own property. I do not own property, so when it's snowing I do not give the idea of shoveling a second though. I clean my car windshield with a flip-flop. (Yes, I keep flip-flops in the car.)

From my frequent winter walks (bike rides and runs) I can assure you that the City would make a pretty penny indeed.

I'm sure that some property-owners ticketed under my new law will protest. "Wah, wah, I don't like to shovel," or "Boo-hoo, shoveling sucks," or "I am 100 years old - I do not wish to shovel my days away!" To them, and to the city - for their phamphlet about this new legislation - I offer a list of people who could shovel for these lazy, careless folks:

1. Children/teenagers
2. Unemployed people - put an ad on craigslist!
3. Volunteers - don't teenagers have to volunteer?
4. Shoveling companies (for real! Like Mr. Plow!)
5. Mayoral candidates
6. Kind neighbors
7. Small-time criminals who need community service credit
8. Your own child or pet, with training

I hope that Chicago's mayoral candidates are interested in this topic. I hope that you are too - whether you walk a little or a lot, or whether you like shoveling or not - it's important that we keep whatever bits of our neighborhoods safe.

By the way, B met me, cleaned up my wounds and helped me to bed. I spent today resting and I'm feeling much better.