Winding down semester 1

I'm three weeks away from finished with my first semester (of four total semesters) of nursing school. The end of the semester means a lot of wrapping up of projects, a few papers, many tests, a lab test where I show off my clinical skills, and many other to-dos big and small.

B and I will keep up our successful-so-far routines of spending most evenings immersed in schoolwork and work-work, taking breaks for eating together and often doing something fun like taking a walk or watching something together. And as the holidays approach we also have time for some exciting non-school merriment:

• The big Cousin's Party for B's family next weekend. I'm an organizer of this fun event, but fortunately I'm a smart organizer who teamed up with others to cater the party rather than cook up a storm. I'm psyched for this good time, particularly without the added bother of hauling a crockpot full of food to the party.
• B's work party -- swanky! Last year B's work party was both swanky and fun. We had amazing food -- including a mashed potato bar, champagne with candied hibiscus (what?!?), and kindhearted people with trays of food walking around! Swanky! I'm excited to dress up, have a few beverages, win a prize (!?!), and maybe even do some dancing.
• Shopping! B and I are still making our own traditions at Christmastime. This year we're getting a new tree since we trashed our old one when we moved. We've got some new ornaments from my family -- my mom scores the best, oddest ornaments each January. We'll also probably do a Friday evening downtown to stroll and shop. And we'll do some local-shopping in our neighborhood. If you get gifts from us at Christmas expect some treats from Amy's Candy Bar -- lucky you!
• Cooking -- we've got to dust off our slow cooker and get some meals going when we leave the house in the morning. I think we'll get moving on some soups, roasted meals and perhaps some of B's secret recipe hot chocolate.
  
• And we must not let a Christmas season go by without stopping at Miller's Pub for Tom & Jerry's. This is crucial for holiday happiness.
  

Thankful

We're still sad, and that's probably not going to change for awhile, but in the midst of all this we're also pretty thankful and on Turkey Day Eve, we might as well say so.

• Thank you to awesome family and friends who call, visit, mail cards and make sure we know we're loved. Especially when we're feeling defeated. We had a terrific lineup of meals this week courtesy of people who somehow knew that cooking wouldn't come easy this week, even though I'd have argued with them if I hadn't been told to allow people to help me.
• Thank you to amazing doctors and nurses and everyone at Northwestern Prentice Hospital.
  
• Thank you to teachers and coworkers who send flowers. It's a little ridiculous how beautiful flowers can make sad times seem less sad.
  
• Thank you to other things that we can focus on. Being busy is just the ticket these days.
• Thank you to my body for working so nicely now. I wonder how long I'm going to be appreciating my kidneys for their pee-making skills. Absence does make the heart grow fonder.
• Thank you to B, the wonderful love of my life. We went through one of the worst situations imaginable, but we went through it together. B has been everything I've needed - he's jumped on problems, tackled awful tasks with gusto, and made sure I've had time to cry/laugh/do schoolwork/go shopping/whatever. Tomorrow is his big Turkey Bowl football game and you can bet I'll be cheering my heart out for my awesome husband.
  

As B says, Thanks for Happy Giving!

Feeling sad

We lost the baby.

I don't know what to say about that just yet. It's devastating and heartbreaking.

I'll share more as I get a little distant from it and it doesn't flip me upside down to retell the story.

For now, I'll say that I'm feeling much better than I was when I was sick with preeclampsia. As much as my body feels better -- my blood pressure is down, my kidneys are working properly which reduces my swelling, and my body is slowly moving back to its normal self.

I'll also say that we received the best possible care at Northwestern's Prentice Hospital. We had amazing nurses, doctors and the best possible care during one of the worst times of our lives. We're very grateful for that.

We're heading into Thanksgiving weekend feeling thankful for our health, thankful for our amazing friends & family, and sad that we won't get to know this baby we were so excited to meet.

I'll write more later, but I wanted to pass along the news and to at least start to write out all the feelings floating in my head.

Growing

Being pregnant is phenomenally weird.

I've been feeling great -- a little exhausted here and there, but happily able to keep up with my walk-a-lot, study-a-lot, eat-good-food, have-lots-of-fun lifestyle. I've been walking more than 10 miles each week, cooking a lot, packing some decent snacks for school, and done really well with school so far. Happy alert!

I've definitely noticed that I'm more hungry lately -- scarfing down a plate of food more quickly than B is evidence alone. My blood sugars are cooperating pretty well -- though I've been hanging out on the low-side for the past few hours despite eating Goldfish crackers, orange juice, rice pilaf, Brussel sprouts, Hawaiian chicken and pretzels (normally pretzels spike my blood sugar like crazy). I'm going to just assume that the baby-to-be is hungry.

I feel like I'm growing, which I am. This is good, despite the fact that it feels so strange. I'm definitely out of regular jeans for now and feeling very comfortable in maternity jeans. I can still wear regular tops, but I'm trying out some prego tops too.

We've even done some baby-planning -- we looked over cribs at Ikea and picked one we like. We've talked over all the details we can manage so far. And, perhaps most importantly, we've gotten to that happy place where we have ideas of plans but no plans for when the baby arrives.

By the numbers...

• 22 weeks pregnant
• 12 trick-or-treaters came to our house this year
• 10 apple cider donuts made it home from our stop at Edward's Apple Orchard
• 98 percent on my last Wellness exam (awesome!)
• 1 photo book almost done (serving the double purpose of documenting our honeymoon and being a classy way to display photos without being crafty) as part of my massive list of projects to conquer before a baby arrives
• 5.4 my last HA1C - a measure of 3 months worth of diabetes control - excellent!