Day 2: Less mess, more science

Carrying a jug of pee, it turns out, is dangerous work.

I arrived at Northwestern Memorial Hospital so very proud of myself. I collected quite a bit of urine and delivered it to the hospital on the Red and Brown El Lines - in crowds no less. Then I opened my backpack and peeked into the series of bags that held the jug. Moisture! No!

Apparently the jugs that the hospital people give you to hold your pee for 24-hours aren't leak-proof. But, thankfully, my series of bags kept the destruction to a minimum and I turned in my specimen in fine form.

After turning in my BP monitor and my pee, I turned into a guinea pig - for real!

My blood pressure was measured standing up, sitting down and laying down. The electrical activity of my heart was measured through an ECG. I wore little probes on my index fingers to assess my arteries as I lay very still for 15 minutes.

I can't learn the results of all this studying - my research study is a double-blind one! That means nobody knows anything so that we're all unbiased.

I also got a bagel, cream cheese, coffee and a $5.50 lunch voucher. And a mid-morning nap! My check is in the mail, they say, and I'm back to science-ville next week. But hooray for all this research!

Science, it turns out, is a bit messy

Right now there is a 3000 milliliter plastic jug full of my pee in my fridge.

It's not full, honestly.

Today I sauntered off to Northwestern Memorial Hospital to join a study which is trying to figure out if kidney medication can be used prevent kidney and blood pressure problems in people with Type 1 diabetes.

I read through an 8-page consent form with Dr. Yang, who is really nice. He explained that to participate in this study I will visit Northwestern in three months and then every six months and bet fitted with a 24-hour blood pressure monitor. I'll also get a jug to collect 24-hours worth of pee!

Then I return the next day to turn in my monitor, turn in my chilled jug of pee (seriously, it's supposed to be kept on ice! I can't make this crap up.) and get a bunch of other tests. I enrolled in the extra "endothelial function" test, which I can only describe as an exercise that uses my fingers and arms to determine how my arteries are doing while I'm pretending to sleep. I think.

The Day 2 stuff is still pretty unclear to me, since I'm in the midst of my 24 hours of pee-collecting and BP cuff wearing. I looked like a weirdo all day at work with this big blue arm band that clicked, but that's nothing compared to the pee-collection situation.

I carry my pee jug, the ice to keep it cool (which leaked all over a bag, making me think that pee had spilled inside my desk) and my pee "hat" to the bathroom. I pee in the hat (which is designed to be peed in), then pour the pee in the jug, clean out the hat stealthily, and sneak back to my office to hide my pee in my desk.

Seriously!

I'll report back tomorrow and hopefully I didn't gross anyone out too much.

Now I just have to figure out how to get my pee jug on the El and back to Northwestern.

The things I do for science (at $150), it's just incredible.

Science is awesome and I'm invited!

Northwestern Memorial Hospital sent me an invitation to join science! I called them straight away and scheduled my appointment for a screening.

If my screening is successful I will be part of a study about kidneys and diabetes and nighttime, or something. The screening involves a few lab tests, probably a billions oddball questions and me wearing a 24-hour blood pressure monitor!

I hope I can get the results from the blood pressure monitor because I'm going to run, meditate and possible attack someone to see what happens to my numbers.

Science is the coolest! I'm happy to be a part of the important work these Bunson Beakers are doing and I'll report back on my study-status.